"We Say It’s Safe Here… But Is It Really?"

The CEO stood up, smiling with arms crossed.

“This is a safe space,” they said.
“I want everyone to be honest. Really tell it like it is.”

And just like that, the silence began.

One person muttered something about internal comms. Another mentioned working from home. A few members of the team glanced sideways at each other. But no one - not one soul - named the tension that had been simmering for months. 

I see this time and time again in teams I work with.

You can’t announce psychological safety into being. You can’t say it matters and expect it to magically appear. You demonstrate it.
With your presence.
With your listening.
With your body language.
With your intent.
Especially when the truth is tough.

People don’t trust what you say. They trust what you do when it costs you something.

A Lesson in Unspoken Culture

I once worked with a senior exec who stood in front of their team and said:

“Call me out. I want you to challenge my thinking.”

They meant it. They were asking for it genuinely.

But when someone gently flagged an issue in the following week’s meeting, the response was... tight.
Not loud. Not cruel. Just… clipped.
He adjusted his watch. Looked away. Moved on.

And in that moment, the culture of don’t challenge me was locked in:

“You can give feedback - just not if it makes “them” (the leaders) uncomfortable.”

And that’s the thing about culture… it’s not shaped by slogans, workshops, coffee mugs or grandiose speeches.
It’s shaped in the micro-moments.
When someone tells the truth and walks away thinking,

“That went better than I expected.”

That’s when trust is born. That’s when psychological safety actually grows.

So, Leader - here’s your real litmus test:

• When was the last time someone gave you feedback that genuinely made you pause?

• When was the last time someone pushed back - not rudely, but bravely - in front of others?

• And how did you respond?

Because if your team hasn’t said something uncomfortable to you recently,
it’s not because there’s nothing to say.
It’s because the cost of honesty is still too high.