The Greatest Leaders Are Not the Loudest; They Are the Most Present
In a world where leadership is often equated with visibility, power, and influence, the loudest voices tend to dominate. We celebrate charismatic speakers, bold decision-makers, and those who command attention in the boardroom. But true leadership is not about how loudly you speak—it is about how deeply you listen, how present you are, and how much space you create for others to thrive.
From Human Doing to Human Wisdom
My biggest personal lesson and pointy edge of learning in all of this has been to move from practicing human doing to engaging my human wisdom. During one of my first week long initiation camps with elders I was corrected by a Grandmother for asking too many questions in quick succession. I was told to stop and not to bombard the elders.
I stopped, for about an hour and then my curious mind, thirst for understanding and dear little ego burst forth again. Yet more questions bubbling out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
I was reprimanded again, this time more sternly, “AJ stop.”
20 minutes later, more questions.
This time the grandmother with a ferocious look on her face: “AJ. No more. No more questions. No more speaking for the rest of the camp.”
Ouch.
A communicator I had my lips sealed. It was hard, very hard. Not only to have the ability to speak and ask questions capped but the ego crushed in front of all the women. I held back the tears in that moment but later, in my swag, I cried, like a little child.
The next day I was silent and sullen, like a sulky child. A giant 42 year old child, can you imagine. I felt like everyone was looking at me some with pity, some with disgust, others with relief, that I had finally been shut up.
Had I been asking that many questions? Apparently, so it seemed.
The day after that, day 2, I woke with a softer heart and mind and a decision to allow the wisdom of the elders to just wash over me. A strategy, I had decided to pick up my weaving (that the Aunties had been teaching us) and to just weave the stories, the questions and the teachings into a basket so all that I wanted to ask and say was captured silently in that way. A way to almost keep my hands busy in order to keep my mouth shut. It helped me remain calm and supported my curious mind.
On Day 3 I awoke settled. Calm, peaceful and most of all grateful. Grateful for this gift of spaciousness of embodiment, of allowing and surrendering without so much thought. It was transformative and peaceful and subtle all at once. It was as if time expanded and the wisdom from the gathered elders had more power, their words, energy and essence seemed to settle in my bones and root me into the ground. I felt their energies, their connections, their musicality and awareness all without thinking. I simply sat, I was being and for once in my life truly feeling without needing to make sense and compartmentalise it all.
I found myself feeling more compassionate towards all the women in our gathering, allowing myself to silently move among them. They began offering me cups of tea, smiling with outstretched cups, I smiled and nodded gratefully, still silently trying to convey my appreciation for their kindness with my eyes, my energy. It was received and felt. Incredibly it opened their heart too and as our eyes locked each time a little more compassion melted my selfish ego.
This is what Steward Eldership epitomises, a return to stillness, to calm, to our innate human wisdom. It recognises that people are not there to be used, questioned and mined. They are as precious as the earth. People are not pawns in a game to win, but a souls to honour. That we are not just here to survive, but to belong.
And when we lead from this place — from groundedness, from reverence, from relational power — we become the kind of leaders this world is quietly begging for.
Not just change-makers.
But pattern-breakers.
Not just strategists.
But stewards of life itself.
Presence Over Noise
Many leaders mistakenly believe that to be effective, they must always have the answers, always be in control, and always assert their authority. Yet the most impactful leaders throughout history have been those who lead with presence rather than volume. Their power does not come from how much they speak, but from how well they understand, support, and empower those around them.
A leader’s presence is felt when:
They listen with their whole being, not just to respond but to truly understand.
They hold space for others to step into their potential.
They embody a sense of calm, trust, and wisdom that reassures their teams.
Their actions align with their values, making words secondary to behavior.
The Power of Deep Listening
One of the most underrated leadership skills is deep listening. Steward Elders practice a form of listening that goes beyond hearing words—it involves understanding energy, emotions, and unspoken truths. This approach, known in some Indigenous traditions as Dadirri, teaches us to listen with our hearts as much as with our ears.
Dadirri, as shared by Dr. Miriam-Rose Ungunmerr-Baumann of the Ngangikurungkurr people, is the practice of inner deep listening and quiet, still awareness. It is about being fully present, patient, and attuned to the rhythms of life and the wisdom that surrounds us. You can learn more about Dadirri at Miriam Rose Foundation.
When leaders cultivate deep listening, they:
Build trust because people feel truly heard and valued.
Make better decisions by understanding the full picture, not just surface-level issues.
Reduce conflict by acknowledging perspectives rather than shutting them down.
Empower teams to solve problems rather than imposing top-down solutions.
Creating Space for Others to Shine
Loud leadership often crowds out the potential of others. A great leader knows that their role is not to take up all the space, but to create space for others to contribute, grow, and lead in their own right.
Ways to do this include:
Encouraging dialogue instead of dictating decisions. Ask: What do you think? How would you approach this?
Recognizing and elevating quiet voices. Some of the most brilliant ideas come from those who hesitate to speak up.
Celebrating team wins over personal victories. The best leaders shine when they reflect the light onto others.
Knowing when to step back. Leadership is not about being indispensable—it is about creating a self-sustaining culture of empowerment.
The Silent Strength of Steward Eldership
Steward Eldership is rooted in humility, wisdom, and service. It is not about making the most noise, but about making the most impact—quietly, consistently, and meaningfully. Steward Elders are not driven by ego or the need for attention; they are custodians of the future, ensuring that those who follow them are equipped, supported, and inspired.
This leadership philosophy reminds us that:
The loudest leader is not always the wisest. Wisdom comes from observation, reflection, and understanding, not from constant assertion.
Real influence is built on trust, not volume. People follow those they respect, not those who dominate the conversation.
Legacy is created through presence, not performance. The greatest leaders are remembered for how they made others feel, not just for what they achieved.
Leading With Presence Starts Today
If you want to become a leader who is not just heard but deeply respected, start by cultivating presence. The next time you enter a meeting, a conversation, or a decision-making moment, ask yourself:
Am I truly listening, or just waiting to speak?
Am I creating space for others, or am I taking up too much?
Am I leading with wisdom and patience, or am I reacting with impulse and ego?
The greatest leaders are not the loudest; they are the most present. And in a world that is constantly distracted and noisy, those who master the art of presence will be the ones who shape the future.